Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Sexual Autonomy Ruins Relationships

Thanks to, I found another jewel of an article from The Times Online. In this article, a "sexpert" claims that, "women need to start having sex with their partners whether they feel like it or not" because sexual autonomy is ruining relationships. So, after reading the study that was posted a couple weeks ago by Rebecca showing that feminists have better sex and relationships, I find this Times article a bit humorous. It would be more humorous if I knew that there weren't people reading it and believing what she says.

Here's a snippet to spike your interest:

Not tonight, dear . . . in fact, not ever
Feminism gave women control of their sex lives, but has it gone too far? Author and sex expert Dr Pam Spurr argues that many women are risking their relationships by saying ‘no’

Oh, and here's my favorite part!

At the risk of being called old-fashioned (though I don’t think that old-fashioned should always have negative connotations) and antifeminist, I’d go so far as to say that for both partners sex could be considered a duty, if it is something that one partner knows would make the other happy. Does he really want to go up on the roof to repair a leak on a Sunday afternoon? Does she really want to take out the rubbish in the pouring rain? No, but partners in relationships do such things because they know that it makes the other happy. Sex should be seen in the same light.

Nothing seems less sexy to me then getting it on as a duty rather than a right, and the last time I checked there was nothing less sexy to my partner then having sex with me when I wasn't into it.

Lucky for us, there's research that shows that "Sex Doctor" Spurr's claims don't exactly hold up, and that maybe the problem isn't with women asserting their sexual rights, but really with the lack of healthy conversation happening in these relationships in regards to their sex lives.

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