Lifeline

Here is an excerpt of a post from RecoveringStraightGirl, Kathryn Martini, who attended Safety In Numbers 2008 and is a survivor of domestic violence.

Thank you for sharing your story and for giving me permission to share it here, Kathryn. Thank you so much.

Read the whole post here


I felt invisible. Like my lower extremities no longer existed and the only thing that I could feel was a deep, dark pain sinking into my chest like a big, black, weight falling into a bed of cotton balls.

We pulled into our garage–both children still asleep and I said, “If you leave now, I won’t call the police.”

He laughed and said, “Go Ahead and Call the police! You hit me first! You’re the one who they would arrest! Oh. My. God. Kathryn! What is wrong with you?”

I stayed in the car and cried. He packed his suitcase and left our home without apology or explanation.

I moved my sleeping children into their beds and called my best friend. She came over and I told her the whole story.

She then told me a story about she and her husband when they were first married. They were wrestling and playing around. They got carried away and he accidentally broke her arm. She went to the hospital and lied–saying that she fell in the bathroom. He was very remorseful and went to counseling to deal with his violent tendencies. She forgave him and that was the end of it. She told me that we could work through this.
Somehow that gave me no comfort.

She stayed with my children while I went to the doctor. I was honest with my doctor and told her about the entire ordeal. She told me that sometimes these things happen and that we could probably work through it. She gave me a prescription for Vicodin and sent me to get an X-Ray.
Somehow that gave me no comfort.

I went home and somehow got through the evening. After the girls were asleep I took a Vicodin and called the Portland Women’s Crisis Line. I cried in my bed for an hour as I talked to someone who understood me.