Who are you calling a victim???

According to Dov Charney, owner of American Apparel, "women initiate most domestic violence, yet out of a thousand cases of domestic violence, maybe one is involving a man. And this has made a victim of culture out of women."

What in the world is this guy talking about? Those of us who are survivors, know survivors or simply care about survivors know that this is utter nonsense. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of the misogynist hate speak that categorizes women as victims and the anti-violence against women movement as overblown and unnecessary.

Check out these other blogs to read what other activists are saying about this: Rage Against the Manchine or Womanist Musings will show you the actual ad American Apparel is using with this quote. (If you read down to the bottom of the Womanist post, you'll see that the ad may or may not be a real one, but the quote is legit.)

Apparently, there's a lot of work to do... You can start by writing American Apparel a letter to let them know you're not interested in giving their boss any of your money.

American Apparel Inc.
747 Warehouse Street
Los Angeles, CA 90021

Tel. (213) 488-0226
Fax. (213) 488-0334

Gross.

Check out this post on the "Yes Means Yes" blog about a recent ad in a men's magazine - another example of things that just aren't funny.

Balancing rage and compassion

Guys, I love the internet. Today I came across two articles that seemed totally incongruous and unrelated at first, but actually became a beautiful lesson in balancing the anger I feel when talking about rape culture with the compassion that I feel is a necessary component of creating meaningful change in our often indifferent world.

Jen's amazingly brave post about her experiences with sexual assault and rape culture at Female Impersonator attracted the ever-present shithead: Anonymous Commenter. (Trigger warning, BTW. The post is very graphic, as are the comments.) The comments are nothing unique or special: someone gets defensive about the idea that we live in a rape culture, misinterprets the OP's conclusion that all men are potential rapists as all men are rapists and the rest de-evolves into a big mess of blegh. Same old song and dance.

I get so tired sometimes, you know? Frustrated with the fact that many people (heck, probably most people) don't understand that we live in a rape culture, and that most people victim-blame until the cows come home, often compounding a survivor's stress, depression and isolation.

So today I bookmarked this WikiHow entry: How to Forgive so I can find it again next time I'm in that frustrated, depressed, raging place. I need to remind myself that compassion is just as important as supporting and empowering survivors or engaging in self-care. In fact, reading this article might just be a step in my self-care process from now on.

ETA: As I re-read this, I realized it might sound like I'm advocating for all survivors to forgive the people who abused them, which I am DEFINITELY NOT. I firmly believe that every single individual person in this world knows best how to care for themselves and heal themselves. I connected with the entry's message of compassion, but that is part of my journey so please don't read this as me telling you how to heal.

Is it a sex crime? Ya think?

Has everyone heard about this little gem from Clackamas County?

Man Charged with "Lewd Act" Turns Himself in and is Released

If you haven't been watching the local news, this is a guy who "randomly" (so they say) wiped his _semen_ on a mother who was shopping with her 3 year old daughter at Target. His face was caught on tape (hello guy! there are cameras all over Target) so he turned himself in only to be released because, according to the officer interviewed, there was no "indecent exposure". Apparently he got himself off, so to speak, "off camera" and can't be charged with anything else.

What a disgusting failing of justice. How do we know that this guy wasn't stalking this woman and her daughter (or any other woman or child in Target that day) throughout the store getting his rocks off only to feel the need to degrade them even further by wiping bodily fluid on the mother?

Let's even entertain the idea that he wasn't stalking her but chose to masturbate in Target of his own volition. Okay, sure. In that case, he chose a random woman to degrade just because he could.

But it's not a sex crime, according to our authorities. Seems like a prime example of the sexual assault continuum, if you ask me. What do you all think?

Oh How Far We've Come

Some days I feel like we're back in 1950 because patriarchy and sexism are still so present in our lives. Then I see things like this and realize how far we've come.

Click on the picture for a full size image so you can read the lovely "tips" to being a good wife. This was published in Housekeeping Monthly on May 13, 1955.

My favorite?

"A good wife always knows her place"

What's your favorite?

Your daily dose of media activism!

A follow-up to this post:

If you are as tired as I am of Chris Matthews' outrageously sexist and petty rants against Hilary Clinton, join me in contacting MSNBC and Chris Matthews to let them know that ridiculously misogynistic statements DO NOT equal journalism. Media Matters helpfully provides email and snail mail addresses, along with a nice summary of his most recent offenses, here.

"Ah the remnants of sexism...Alive and well"

I have been feeling a little bit sorry for Hillary in the past few weeks. It seems like she has had her passion in the right place (though I am not sure that she's my candidate, I'm still undecided) and is running for President for the right reasons, yet she continually gets protesters and reporters heaping this nonsense on her.

At least in this case, I think that she handled it with grace. Can you imagine if people were protesting Obama with the same oppressive nonsense? I don't think it would fly. BUT telling a powerful national leader who happens to be a woman to "iron my shirts!", well that's just a quirky little news story.

Protesters ask Clinton to iron shirts

By PHILIP ELLIOTT, Associated Press WriterTue Jan 8, 5:34 AM ET

Hillary Rodham Clinton's campaign stop was interrupted Monday when two men stood in the crowd and began screaming, "Iron my shirt!" during one of her final appearances before the New Hampshire primary.

Clinton, a former first lady running to become the nation's first female president, laughed at the seemingly sexist protest that suggested a woman's place is doing the laundry and not running the country.

"Ah, the remnants of sexism — alive and well," Clinton said to applause in a school auditorium.

The two men were removed from the hall after raising a pair of signs that said, "Iron my shirt!" They also shouted the same slogan.

"Can we turn the lights on? It's awfully dark," Clinton said, cueing the lights to come and police to come forward to take the men away.

The overflow crowd burst into applause and some began shouting, "Iron my shirt" as the two were taken from the hall.

"As I think has been abundantly demonstrated, I am also running to break through the highest and hardest glass ceiling," she said.

Clinton later joked about the incident as she invited questions.

"If there's anyone left in the auditorium who wants to learn how to iron a shirt, I'll talk about that," she said with a smile.

Clinton placed a disappointing third place in Iowa's caucuses last week and faces a tough challenge in Tuesday's primary from Barack Obama, who leads her with just one day remaining.